That jokes

You're so awesome that the word 'awesome' demanded its title back!

People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...

Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.

You're so cool that celebrities take pictures of you.

You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!

How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?

These jokes are so dark that they picked the cotton!

Yo mama is so ugly that the Grinch fell out when he saw her!

I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.

What did the blind kid say after touching the emo kid’s hand?

“I ain’t reading all that.”

Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.

“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”

“Why is that?”

“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”

Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”

"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."

The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.

I replied, "No. Is that still required?"

This is how big cats were named.

"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."

"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?

Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?

When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”

How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?

Tell him that it is a confessional booth.

Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?

He gets to tear that ass up one more time.

“If you're a dwarf and you're offended by that, grow up.”

A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"

This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"