That jokes

My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.

Y'uree: Bruh... listen... gangbang... sex... the same.

Halyei: Hello Y'uree and Jarod. How are you guys today?

Y'uree: Well, sexy girls like you should be ass-fucked or fucked so hard that all you can do is talk or nothing at all?

Halyei: Thank you, I suck dicks too!

Jarod: Are you Breya???

Halyei: No... do I look like that flying bastard???

Jarod: Ugh... no... baby, you're free to go!

Halyei: Sorry, I miss cursing and having sex with her too! Sorry for being an idiot. I really miss her. Maybe you and I can give her a threesome??? No, I'm not gay! WHY!!!!!!! Can you come to the please fuck me! It's the fuckable girls contest and I want to win! Sorry!

What was the last thing that went through PH's head?

Water and smoke.

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.

"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"

"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?"

I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."

Two persons were in a car. The brakes were broken and they were going so fast that they would crash and die.

The driver said: "Oh no! We will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied: "Don't panic, the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."

What is the name of the political party in the United States that was founded in 1971 and has lost a presidential election since 1972, and is more politically corrupted than the man boy love association of America because it is politically motivated?

Libertarian Party.

What do you call a gay man that performs fellatio on a man and cunnilingus on a woman, a person who is curious about male bisexuality, a man that is bicurious?

Does it cycle now?

When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:

Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?

What is a tree that does not exist?

A money tree.

What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?

Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!

What do you call a fat Chinese person that talks way too much? Panda Express.

One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱

How do you see past that forehead?

What is a dog that is awesome? A smart dog.

Have you been to that paraplegic strip club? It's crawling with pussy!

Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?

You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.

Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."

Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"

I told my friends that are gay that my hairline's straighter than he will ever be.