That jokes
My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.
If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
Yo mama is so ugly that the Grinch fell out when he saw her!
I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.
What did the blind kid say after touching the emo kid’s hand?
“I ain’t reading all that.”
Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.
“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”
“Why is that?”
“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”
Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”
Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."
If your corona test shows two lines, is that then positive or negative?
People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...
Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
These jokes are so dark that they picked the cotton!
Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.
So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.
POV: I made a blind joke.
"That isn't funny. What if Helen Keller saw that?"
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.