That jokes

I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say "black paint."

You have to say, "Leroy, please paint that wall!"

That joke didn't land well, did it?

A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"

Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"

"Our wedding video."

Did you know that the F in orphan means family?

There's no F in orphan?

Exactly.

What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?

"Family strong, but not that strong."

Don't do suicide, that shit kills.

I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."

What did the female rapist say at her hearing?

"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"

Why did the man fall into a well? He couldn’t see that well.

Your forehead is so big that your face touches your chin.

I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”

That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.

Shame on you Penaldo!

I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.

Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.

Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!

You gotta believe me!

A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”

I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?

What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?

Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?

So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?

The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....

Last words of the mayor of Hiroshima: “What the fuck was that noise?”