That jokes
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"
So I did...
I don't remember much after that.
Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?
Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.
There are a lot of things that explode... like cars, boats, the Twin Towers.
That's my one teacher 24/7💀
I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.
What happened to the frog that partied illegally?
He got TOAD away!
my therapist told me that time heals wounds i stabbed him now we wait
You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.
Nobody: Aww, that's so sad!
Me: Just like me.
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
Yo mama's so gay that, after watching Aladdin, she tried to fly on a pride flag!
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
What's the difference between yo mama and a fat ugly pig? - I never fucked that fat ugly pig...
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
Has anybody noticed that the New York City football team is the New York Jets? They sure know how to scare the Twin Towers.
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*