That jokes
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.
When I was a kid, I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.
An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
That's my one teacher 24/7💀
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
Freddie Mercury was on top of the music world. That's only the 2nd thing he was a top in.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?
Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.
"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."
What happened to the frog that partied illegally?
He got TOAD away!
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.
What's the difference between yo mama and a fat ugly pig? - I never fucked that fat ugly pig...
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.
That’s about to become a rope around my neck.
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.