That jokes

Aren't paraplegics just plegics that can fly?

There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.

Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"

What do you call a lamp that molests young boys? A Jacko Lantern!

Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!

Mom: Exactly.

What can you give a white person that you can't give to a black person?

A black eye.

If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual assault?

Me: I know why you don't have friends.

Kid: Why?

Me: Because you can't even figure that out.

How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.

What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?

reCAPTCHA

There's two types of emo people:

1. People that cut side to side.

2. And people that cut up and down.

The most efficient is up and down.

What do you call a Mexican that smokes weed? A baked bean.

What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?

Its butt.

What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.

What's worse than a pile of dead babies?

One at the bottom that's still alive.

What's worse than that?

It's forced to eat its way out.

What's even worse than that?

It comes back for seconds.

I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?

I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.

The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.

Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.

That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.

Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.

Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.

But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.

Incest is wincest. (That was above.)

Fun for the whole family!

Next of kin, count me in!

What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?

"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"

At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"

Did you hear about the gays that had a baby? It was a little shit

I'm glad I'm not a pornstar... that would be pretty sucky.