That jokes
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "He was a little tardy."
I replied to her, "I thought they all were."
I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...
... the first two being politics and religion.
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Carlos.
I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.
That's my one teacher 24/7💀
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
Nobody: Aww, that's so sad!
Me: Just like me.
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
my therapist told me that time heals wounds i stabbed him now we wait
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
Yo mama's so gay that, after watching Aladdin, she tried to fly on a pride flag!
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
Yo mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
Ever seen the show Naked and Afraid? That’s what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.
What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?
Quiet kids.
Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."
Boy: "What's that?"
Grandpa: "What's what?"