That jokes

What did Eve say to Adam?

"That is rock hard."

A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town.

He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.”

The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili.

The sight was shocking, and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”

People say that they miss xxxtentacion, like the bullet didn’t.

So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"

The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"

My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.

I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.

What do you call cheese that's not yours?

Nacho cheese!

Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.

After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"

The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.

"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.

The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"

Anyone else know that Hitler had only one testicle?

Maybe that's why he killed himself. Bro could never get any bitches!

Did you know that..

Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.

Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.

What do you call a knight that has one arm? A first battle night.

What do you call a knight that lost both arms? A two battle useless knight.

Bro, your toenails are bigger than your IQ.

Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.

"HEY THAT’S MY MILK!"

So, I don't want anyone taking this the wrong way, people are free to be whatever they feel they are, and that's not anyone else's choice.

BUT!!!!!!

I personally have my own feelings on "churches and christianity". I feel that it is against The God Delusion and is an abomination to anyone who has half a braincell. I know plenty of Christian people, and I respect that! NO, REALLY, I DO. My best friend is a dumbass Christian just like you are, and I respect that's how she feels, and I'm glad that she made her choice. But I don't love it when people promote this stuff, because it is what the morons are tricking everyone into doing/being. Falling into the brainwashed act is NOT something you should ever want to do. As someone who has some intelligence, this is not okay in my sense.

As someone who isn't an Aussie, I note that Idfk what this is: "The people who defended Australia get 2 days, remembrance day and Anzac day + 1 minute of silence." BUT the christianism community gets YEARS IN THIS DUMB WORLD where they are told that they are 'special' and 'normal, like everyone else'. Which is really unfair and in a way, biased. I was only 7 when I recognized this just from being told at school by all the kids in my class that they are either CHRISTIAN or support it.

I know and understand I will get a lot of hate from this, I also don't give a shit, but please remember that it's just my thoughts and opinion. Thank you for reading. :)

I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"

You're so awesome that the word 'awesome' demanded its title back!

Yo mama so fat that if she didn't eat for a day, there would be enough food to feed Africans for 500 years.

When you know that everyone thinks you're a hoe.

WHEN Y'ALL ARE MY HOES!

When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?

I think that you're an accident!