Temperature jokes
How do butts stay cool in the summer?
They stay in crack conditioning.
The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”
Why does everybody like the sun? Because it's hot.
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
When it's cold outside, men can cut ice in three places.
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop some HOT BARS!
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
The water in the shower evaporates before it reaches you.
What does a cute deaf girl and a fire have in common?
They're both hot, but they're both quiet.
Why is the sun so mean? Because it keeps ROASTING everyone!
It's so cold, I mist bring my jacket.
What did the police say to the ice cream freezer?
I think if the center of the earth froze, it would be pretty hard core.
How many degreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees does Billy Corgan have?
1979.
Be careful around fire, plastic melts.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cold.
Cold who?
"It is cold out here!"
I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.
Q: Why do Skeletons hate the cold?
A: It sends chills up their spine.
I left a chunk of ice outside during summer. That was the first time I heard icescream.
Why doesn’t the sun go to college?
Answer: Because it has a million degrees! 😀