Temperature jokes
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didn’t have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.
I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop some HOT BARS!
Memes
The water in the shower evaporates before it reaches you.
Be careful around fire, plastic melts.
What does a cute deaf girl and a fire have in common?
They're both hot, but they're both quiet.
Why is the sun so mean? Because it keeps ROASTING everyone!
It's so cold, I mist bring my jacket.
What did the police say to the ice cream freezer?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cold.
Cold who?
"It is cold out here!"
Why doesn’t the sun go to college?
Answer: Because it has a million degrees! 😀
I left a chunk of ice outside during summer. That was the first time I heard icescream.
Q: Why do Skeletons hate the cold?
A: It sends chills up their spine.
I think if the center of the earth froze, it would be pretty hard core.
How many degreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees does Billy Corgan have?
1979.
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
With their FIRE LYRICS!
Why doesn't bread like warm weather?
It gets toasty!
The only thing colder than Siberia is my girlfriend's ex!