Temperature jokes
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
Why does everybody like the sun? Because it's hot.
How do butts stay cool in the summer?
They stay in crack conditioning.
So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didn’t have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.
What does a cute deaf girl and a fire have in common?
They're both hot, but they're both quiet.
Memes
What did the police say to the ice cream freezer?
It's so cold, I mist bring my jacket.
Why is the sun so mean? Because it keeps ROASTING everyone!
The water in the shower evaporates before it reaches you.
Be careful around fire, plastic melts.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cold.
Cold who?
"It is cold out here!"
Why doesn’t the sun go to college?
Answer: Because it has a million degrees! 😀
I left a chunk of ice outside during summer. That was the first time I heard icescream.
Q: Why do Skeletons hate the cold?
A: It sends chills up their spine.
I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.
I think if the center of the earth froze, it would be pretty hard core.
How many degreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees does Billy Corgan have?
1979.
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop some HOT BARS!
Do you want to hear a cold joke?
Can't. It warmed up.