Temperature jokes
The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”
Why does everybody like the sun? Because it's hot.
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
When it's cold outside, men can cut ice in three places.
So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didn’t have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop some HOT BARS!
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
The water in the shower evaporates before it reaches you.
What does a cute deaf girl and a fire have in common?
They're both hot, but they're both quiet.
Why is the sun so mean? Because it keeps ROASTING everyone!
I think if the center of the earth froze, it would be pretty hard core.
What did the police say to the ice cream freezer?
Be careful around fire, plastic melts.
It's so cold, I mist bring my jacket.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cold.
Cold who?
"It is cold out here!"
Why doesn’t the sun go to college?
Answer: Because it has a million degrees! 😀
Q: Why do Skeletons hate the cold?
A: It sends chills up their spine.
How many degreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees does Billy Corgan have?
1979.
I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.
I left a chunk of ice outside during summer. That was the first time I heard icescream.