Temperature jokes
Global warming is the average of temperature on Earth.
How do butts stay cool in the summer?
They stay in crack conditioning.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman? Frostbite!
Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁
Why was the Burnside Bridge so hot?
Because it's on the burning side.
Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
What does a spy do when he's cold?
He goes under cover.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cold.
Cold who?
"It is cold out here!"
Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?
Because it was Luke warm.
Why is a football stadium always so cold?
Answer: Because it has a lot of fans!
Why was the obtuse angle hot?
It was more than 90 degrees.
I think if the center of the earth froze, it would be pretty hard core.
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
Why don't amputees ever get cold? They're always wearing their stump warmers.
Titanic, doing the polar plunge before it was cool.
Why was an oven so smart?
It had 70 degrees.
Did you hear about Fridgetair
Kelvinator?
"Fuck" and "sex" are hot, which is fire.
Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold? A: It’s always 90 degrees.