Temperature jokes
I hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight.
If you can't stand the heat, sit!
Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁
Why is the letter "B" very cool? Because it's sitting in the AC.
Why did the chili blush?
Because it was so hot!
I like my women how I like my coffee... HOT.
Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.
Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!
Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!
Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx
Why don't amputees ever get cold? They're always wearing their stump warmers.
Why is it that skinny men love fat women?
Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer.
Why was the stadium so cold?
Because of all its fans!
One volcano said, "Is that you, Qs? I am hot."
What makes it cold in a room? Air conditioning.
What do you call an old snowman that survived till summer?...
Water... yup, water...
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts lolololol hahahahah.
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees?
Cold as hell.
Why was Boiling Water hired by NASA (The National Aeronautics and Space Administration) to oversee their Space division?
Because it has at least one hundred degrees.
So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didn’t have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.
How do you make antifreeze?
You steal her blanket.