Temperature jokes
Why are corners so hot?
They are always 90 degrees.
I hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight.
If you can't stand the heat, sit!
Why was an oven so smart?
It had 70 degrees.
Global warming is the average of temperature on Earth.
Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁
Why is the letter "B" very cool? Because it's sitting in the AC.
Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.
Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!
Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!
Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx
Why don't amputees ever get cold? They're always wearing their stump warmers.
One volcano said, "Is that you, Qs? I am hot."
Why was the stadium so cold?
Because of all its fans!
What makes it cold in a room? Air conditioning.
What do you call an old snowman that survived till summer?...
Water... yup, water...
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts lolololol hahahahah.
What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees?
Cold as hell.
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
Why was Boiling Water hired by NASA (The National Aeronautics and Space Administration) to oversee their Space division?
Because it has at least one hundred degrees.
How do you make antifreeze?
You steal her blanket.
How do butts stay cool in the summer?
They stay in crack conditioning.