Temperature jokes
Why are mountains very cold?
Because they are very cold.
Beethoven to Chris Doemges: "What instrument do you play outside in the Arctic at -12 degrees Celsius?"
Doemges: "Probably the shiver..."
Why are hospitals always freezing? They need to keep the vegetables cold.
Why was the rapper always cold?
Because his lyrics were too ICY!
Be careful around fire, plastic melts.
Why is the sun so mean? Because it keeps ROASTING everyone!
Why was Boiling Water hired by NASA (The National Aeronautics and Space Administration) to oversee their Space division? Because it has at least one hundred degrees.
Student: It's hot in here.
Teacher: That's because I'm in here.
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop some HOT BARS!
When it's cold outside, men can cut ice in three places.
What do you call an old snowman that survived till summer?...
Water... yup, water...
What do you call a skeleton in the snow? A numb skull.
What do you call a disabled kid on fire?
Hot wheels.
If you can't stand the heat, sit!
Animals are just... so hot!
Why is the letter "B" very cool? Because it's sitting in the AC.
Yo mama so hot, she can fit in a mug.
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.