Temperature jokes

Why don't amputees ever get cold? They're always wearing their stump warmers.

Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"

"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"

"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx

How did the hipster burn his tongue?

He drank his coffee before it was cool.

How do you make antifreeze?

You steal her blanket.

If the formula of water is H2O, then what is the formula of ice?

H2O cubed.

Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.

Wow, Heaven's a lot hotter than I thought it'd be.