Temperature jokes
Why did the guy get the hose?
Because the girl was smoking hot.
Why do people drink Starbucks? Because it's too hot to handle!
Why was the obtuse angle hot?
It was more than 90 degrees.
Why did the Ice Cube complain about being so warm? Because he was dropped on the floor.
I like my women how I like my coffee... HOT.
Why are hospitals always freezing? They need to keep the vegetables cold.
Wow, that is so sunny!
Why doesn't bread like warm weather?
It gets toasty!
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts lolololol hahahahah.
Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
Why is there AC in hospitals?
To keep all the vegetables fresh.
How do you make antifreeze?
You steal her blanket.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice. I called it "cold hard cash."
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
What does a spy do when he's cold?
He goes under cover.
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.
I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
A good bath is like a dead lover. You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.
Yo mama's like a fridge, she breaks down when she loses her cool.