Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
Temperature Jokes
Why is there AC in hospitals?
To keep all the vegetables fresh.
How do you make antifreeze?
You steal her blanket.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice. I called it "cold hard cash."
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
What does a spy do when he's cold?
He goes under cover.
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.
I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
A good bath is like a dead lover.
You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.
Yo mama's like a fridge, she breaks down when she loses her cool.
Yo mama so dumb when the weather said "it's chili outside," she went inside a goal, small and a bowl.
Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.
The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."
The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."
The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
