Temperature jokes
I like my women how I like my coffee... HOT.
Why are hospitals always freezing?
They need to keep the vegetables cold.
Wow, that is so sunny!
Why doesn't bread like warm weather?
It gets toasty!
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts lolololol hahahahah.
Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
Why is there AC in hospitals?
To keep all the vegetables fresh.
How do you make antifreeze?
You steal her blanket.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice. I called it "cold hard cash."
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
What does a spy do when he's cold?
He goes under cover.
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.
I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
A good bath is like a dead lover.
You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.
Yo mama's like a fridge, she breaks down when she loses her cool.
Yo mama so dumb when the weather said "it's chili outside," she went inside a goal, small and a bowl.
Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.