Technology jokes

Very funny battery joke.

I told AI to talk dirty to me. It started describing my browser history.

It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID.

None of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently.

I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?

He can’t walkie or talkie.

Do you know why they call me battery saver?

I get turned on when it’s below 10%.

Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?

He got hearing aids.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.

What is missing on an orphanage computer? The motherboard.

How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.

My friend is an amazing hacker. He cut down 23 trees already.

If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.

POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.

I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.

Yo mama so stupid, she ate the Apple phone you gave her.

Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?

You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-

(Destroys phone cutely)

You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."

When an orphan takes a family photo, it's called a selfie.

What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair? (RC-XD)

*gets hit by a car*

Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"

Me: "Please...I need my...phone."

*opens twitter*

Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"