Technology jokes
How can you tell if Google is a girl?
It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence!
Why do orphans play GTA?
To be wanted.
Why do orphanages give out free phones?
So you can press the home button.
I played Kobe Bryant on 2k14, but my console somehow kept crashing.
I didn’t know Stephen Hawking died. Oh god, it must have been when I disconnected the Wi-Fi!
When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.
Your mom's so fat, the photo from last Christmas is still printing!
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.
What runs faster than Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair?
His Internet.
What is an astronaut's favorite part of a keyboard?
The SPACE BAR!
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cellphone.
Ex-Boyfriend: How and why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die!
How do you enter your house?
Through Bill Gates!
ENTER PASSWORD.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
RESET PASSWORD.
NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD.
Sets fire to computer.
Why did Spider-Man decide to buy a laptop?
So that he could design his own “website.”
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: Started to laugh and said "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
Hehe
My brother finally got his driver's license, so he took our new car out for a spin.
At least now I can have his phone he left.
Most annoying thing...
When we send something in WhatsApp thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks...
What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?
Raped an eight-year-old girl.
What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?
I don't know, I have both!
Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?
He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.