Technology jokes
What did Google Translate say to Siri?
"Why are you so Siri-ous?"
Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4
LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.
When one just isn't enough
I played Kobe Bryant on 2k14, but my console somehow kept crashing.
Why do orphans play GTA?
To be wanted.
Why do orphanages give out free phones?
So you can press the home button.
I didn’t know Stephen Hawking died. Oh god, it must have been when I disconnected the Wi-Fi!
Your mom's so fat, the photo from last Christmas is still printing!
When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.
Why don’t they let Stephen Hawking have other electronics around him? Because he will sound staticky.
How can you tell if Google is a girl?
It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence!
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cellphone.
Ex-Boyfriend: How and why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die!
How do you enter your house?
Through Bill Gates!
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD
What runs faster than Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair?
His Internet.
ENTER PASSWORD.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
RESET PASSWORD.
NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD.
Sets fire to computer.
What is an astronaut's favorite part of a keyboard?
The SPACE BAR!