Technology jokes
How did the digital clock show off to its mother?
Look, Ma, no hands!
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4
LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.
Why don’t they let Stephen Hawking have other electronics around him? Because he will sound staticky.
Why do orphans play GTA?
To be wanted.
Why do orphanages give out free phones?
So you can press the home button.
I played Kobe Bryant on 2k14, but my console somehow kept crashing.
Memes
Your mom's so fat, the photo from last Christmas is still printing!
When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.
I didn’t know Stephen Hawking died. Oh god, it must have been when I disconnected the Wi-Fi!
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
ENTER PASSWORD.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
RESET PASSWORD.
NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD.
Sets fire to computer.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD
What kind of mask are you wearing?
An Elon Musk!
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cellphone.
Ex-Boyfriend: How and why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die!
Why did Spider-Man decide to buy a laptop?
So that he could design his own “website.”
What is an astronaut's favorite part of a keyboard?
The SPACE BAR!
What runs faster than Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair?
His Internet.
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: Started to laugh and said "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
Hehe
My brother finally got his driver's license, so he took our new car out for a spin.
At least now I can have his phone he left.
What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?
I don't know, I have both!
What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?
Raped an eight-year-old girl.