Technology jokes
I played Kobe Bryant on 2k14, but my console somehow kept crashing.
Your mom's so fat, the photo from last Christmas is still printing!
When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.
I didn’t know Stephen Hawking died. Oh god, it must have been when I disconnected the Wi-Fi!
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
Here comes the sun Do Do Do Do
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cellphone.
Ex-Boyfriend: How and why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die!
How do you enter your house?
Through Bill Gates!
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD
Why did Spider-Man decide to buy a laptop?
So that he could design his own “website.”
What is an astronaut's favorite part of a keyboard?
The SPACE BAR!
What runs faster than Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair?
His Internet.
ENTER PASSWORD.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
RESET PASSWORD.
NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD.
Sets fire to computer.
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: Started to laugh and said "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
Hehe
What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?
Raped an eight-year-old girl.
My brother finally got his driver's license, so he took our new car out for a spin.
At least now I can have his phone he left.
Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?
He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.
What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?
I don't know, I have both!
Most annoying thing...
When we send something in WhatsApp thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks...