Technology jokes
Best thing ever right here.
So, there is this app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12-15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12-15 inches longer.
Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.
Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?
They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.
Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?
Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.
My father said I'm too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite, and unplugged his life support.
An apple and an emo are at the top of a tree, they both fall at the same time.
Who hit the ground first?
The apple won because the emo had forgotten to connect the internet.
You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."
I tried to search stuff about 9/11 for a research project, but it didn’t work... I guess the site crashed.
Most people call it grave robbing...
I prefer to call it cryptocurrency.
I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle. So THEN I bought a LED whistle but it steel wooden LED me whistle.
How did Steven Hawkings die?
His wife tripped over his charging plug when he was at 2% battery.
Someone who was working in the tower must've put their phone on plane mode.
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.
Talk to me if you are online.
What does a website have that an orphan doesn't? A home.
Why can’t orphans have a computer?
Because they don’t have a home page.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.
I love you, my new phone! 📲
Stephen Hawking did not die; he deleted himself.
Hey Siri, skip to Friday!