Technology jokes

What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a computer? Ctrl+Alt+Delete.

How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?

Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.

Then: You want free candy?

Now: You want free Wi-Fi?

You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.

I made a website for orphans.

Silly me, I forgot the home page.

Bro, yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this:

"Error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance."

Anyone know what bird that is?

Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.

Son: Okay, I'll do it!

5 hours later...

Son: I'm done!

Dad: I lied.

Son: So did I!

Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.

You dream in 4K.

What do Myspace and my dad have in common?

I haven't seen them in a while.

Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.

Apple tried to make a car, but it had no windows ;)

Yesterday I asked an emo girl if she's jealous when her phone dies.

I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-kart.

New Gen iPhones are designed for orphans, because they don’t need a home button.

How does a tree access the internet?

By logging in and branching out!

Gen Z is most likely going to be the last generation who felt the pain of getting up early to catch their favorite show.

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)

Apple created the iPhone X for orphans because they don't have a home.

Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?