Technology jokes

Why did an orphan go on Google Maps?

To try and find their parents.

I created a website for orphans, but there was no homepage.

I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.

A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.

"My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"

And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.

"WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"

And so he did.

One day I was texting my friend on Roblox and I made her mad. She told me she was gonna kill me.

That night, she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 PM sharp, but she made "sharp" in all caps. So I went to the bathroom at 2 PM the next day. Now I know what she meant by "SHARP" on Roblox... she brought a knife, and I was in hell by then. Like for the next part!

Then: You want free candy?

Now: You want free Wi-Fi?

How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?

Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.

What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a computer? Ctrl+Alt+Delete.

For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet, it is a shame he could not create a longer-lasting battery.

What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?

His little brother with the console.

Why did the cellphone get glasses? Because it lost its contacts!

Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."

Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."

What do you call a nun on a bike?

Virgin Mobile.

Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.

I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.

Why can’t orphans have phones?

Because it has a home button!

Why did I give an orphan the iPhone X?

Because it is the first one without a home button.

You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.

What did Stephen Hawking see before he died?

The blue screen of death.

Why can't orphans play on a computer?

'Cause they have no motherboard.