For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet, it is a shame he could not create a longer-lasting battery.
A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.
"My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"
And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.
"WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"
And so he did.
One day I was texting my friend on Roblox and I made her mad. She told me she was gonna kill me.
That night, she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 PM sharp, but she made "sharp" in all caps. So I went to the bathroom at 2 PM the next day. Now I know what she meant by "SHARP" on Roblox... she brought a knife, and I was in hell by then. Like for the next part!
What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a computer? Ctrl+Alt+Delete.
How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?
Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.
Then: You want free candy?
Now: You want free Wi-Fi?
New Gen iPhones are designed for orphans, cause they don’t need a home button
I wonder of Steven hawking was a organ donor cuz i need new parts for my go kart
why cant orphans play video games because they don't have their parents email
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
Why did the cellphone get glasses? Because it lost its contacts!
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."
How did the orphan operate the phone? He didn't. He didn't understand the homepage.
I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.
Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.
What did I do with the internet?
My Mum texted me she had lost her phone.
Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.
Me: Dad, my phone is broken.
Dad: How?
Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.
Dad: Stupid.
You dream in 4K.
