Facetime jokes
Face-Timing My Girlfriend:
"Hey girl! Are you a veterinarian? Because these puppies are sick!" *shows muscle*
When meeting her parents doesn't require you to leave the house.
when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.
Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.
Why don't phones wear glasses? Because they have contacts!
Community talk
I mistakenly sexted my wife’s sister A couple years ago I was on a business trip and missing my wife. I decided to take a suggestive picture (me in my boxer briefs, clearly with a bulge and just the tip sticking out the top) and send it to my wife. We don’t usually sext but I figured she’d appreciate knowing I was thinking of her.
It was late, I was tired, and barely paying attention. I accidentally sent it to her s… Read more