Technology jokes

Me: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?

Me: Where's your parents?

Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?

Me: Because it has a home button.

Stephen Hawking tried to install a free version of Windows 10.

How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?

There is sperm on the screen.

I told this man to rev his vehicle.

Didn't know wheelchairs can't rev.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because his carer lost his charger.

So I'm the cable guy around the neighborhood, and I do everybody's cable. So I walked into this one house, and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs. I was asking where her mom was, and she wasn't answering, and it looked like something was wrong, so I asked if anything was wrong. She didn't answer, so I kind of raised my voice at her, but she still didn't answer, and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear.

When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.

Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?

Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.

Girl: Your card got declined.

Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.

So I was on Google, and on my computer it had Windows. When Stephen Hawking died, it shut down, the shutdown sound played, and wouldn't turn on again.

Why did the robot cross the road?

Because he was programmed by the chicken!

Why do orphans get iPhones 11?

Because it has no home page.

Why do orphans have to have customized phones? Because there aren't home buttons.

I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."

What is the strongest weapon in India?

The red button (this is a fact).

Stephen Hawking's death was because he lost WiFi connection.

Someone who was working in the tower must've put their phone on plane mode.

How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?

Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.

My favorite website.

Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.

Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.