Technology jokes

If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?

If I die, delete my search history.

Flip 1134 over on a calculator.

Happy holidays!

What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?

Ask Boeing.

Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?

Because they don't know how to use the home button.

Stephen Hawking doesn’t have a dick; he has a microchip.

Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?

Someone turned off flight mode.

(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)

What kind of pictures do turtles take?

Shelfies.

I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.

Yo mama so fat, when she took a picture of herself, her phone ran out of storage.

What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”

What do crows use when they get a phone?

A "CAWing" card!

What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?

You don't want your computer to go down on you.

I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.

Stephen Hawking is just in a role play. He died to a crash in Minecraft.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He traveled too far from the outlet.

Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.

Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.

I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...

For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet, it is a shame he could not create a longer-lasting battery.

Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈

If orphans made phones, it wouldn't have a home button.