Technology jokes
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.
My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.
How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?
He spills coffee on his iPad.
Who remembers when ‘tweeting’ meant “stabbing a hooker”?
coronavirus
Knock knock. Who’s there? Ur uncle. What? Is ur RBLX gf?
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"
Me: power button.
Carrie Underwood and ChatGPT are not the same. ChatGPT is able to create a soul.
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
Why did he die?
Because God made a mistake and pressed Ctrl+Z.
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Two TV antennas got married. The church ceremony was terrible, but the reception was fantastic!
When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
*Windows turning off*