Technology jokes
My PC.
Isn't there a software company named after your dick?
Microsoft?
Why do orphans not use iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.
You used to call me on your cellphone when you need my love.
Mad girl: SHUT UP! YOU ARE SO ANNOYING! I DON'T WANT TO CALL YOU ON MY CELL PHONE!
How did the computer get out of the house? He used windows.
I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.
May he rest in pizza.
Stephen Hawking died because he tried downloading a free version of Windows 10.
Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.
BTW, I am one, wahahaa!
If you're ever bored, pee on an android. Apple is better!
Cyber Monday
My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics.
Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.
Why was Stephen Hawking late to the NASA meeting?
He couldn't get up the kerb.
Yo mama's so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?
His wheelchair always backs him up.
Yo mama is so stupid, when she saw on her computer it said "You have 3 cookies," she broke it.
Stephen Hawking and his wife Siri’s favorite place to eat is Meals on Wheels!
Picture of yo mama last Christmas and the damn thing’s still printing.
Science flies you to the moon, while religion flies you into two towers.