Technology jokes

Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.

Me: Mrs., can I read my book?

Teacher: Sure.

Me: *watching my Chromebook*

I have so many cash machine jokes.

But none of them seem to work ATM.

Someone who was working in the tower must've put their phone on plane mode.

Yo mama so stupid, she spoke into a letter for voicemail.

Why can't orphans close their video games?

Because they can't find the home button.

I ask the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

Why do orphans want an iPhone S? Because it has a home screen.

Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?

Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.

Me: What is that?

Siri: Sugondese nuts.

My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

I remember when I saw my dad's penis for the first time.

I said, "Dad, don't text me shit like that."

It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.

The screams of the passers-by are enough for me!

What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?

You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.

I think my penis has facial recognition.

Yo mama's so dumb, she trips over the wireless internet.

A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?

The apple was already bitten.

The emo girl got jealous that her phone died and not her.

What do computers and white kids have in common? They don't have trouble shooting.

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?

RC-XD

What does Stephen Hawking have in common with Bill Gates? One stands, the other doesn't.