Technology jokes
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby."
Redmi
Hello my fellow Americans, I'm playing Clash Royale for the USA clan, and two towers are already gone?
An Australian, an American, and a British man are on a golf course.
They're all on the green and working out their next shot when a phone starts ringing.
"Terribly sorry," says the Brit, but instead of getting out a phone, he twists his earlobe around to reveal a speaker and opens his bottom lip to reveal a microphone and takes the call.
The other two are pretty impressed, and the Brit shrugs modestly.
"State of the art British tech. Surgically implanted. Amazing stuff."
They get set to resume, but another phone goes off.
"Ugh, sorry guys," says the American, but instead of taking out his phone, he holds up his hand, taps the palm with his other hand, and it turns into a screen. As the other two watch, the American has a video call.
When he's finished, the other two are impressed, but the American waves it off.
"No biggie. Just the latest and greatest in digital communications from the good old US of A."
Again, the three are about to continue their game when there's a strange, electronic sound and, much to the other two's surprise, the Aussie runs off into the bushes.
The Brit and the American follow him and soon find the Aussie squatting down in the middle of a clearing, clothes around his ankles, bare-assed and grunting.
"What the hell..." one of them says, but the Aussie holds up his hand in apology.
"Sorry fellas, got a fax coming through..."
Stephen Hawking drove too far from the wall and unplugged.
He also forgot to pay the power bill.
If you replaced the boss in Portal with a boy, you would hear Stephen Hawking.
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
Why did an orphan go on Google Maps?
To try and find their parents.
Your hairline is so bad when I looked at you, I had to use accessibility.
I tried to search stuff about 9/11 for a research project, but it didn’t work... I guess the site crashed.
Why can't an orphan have an iPad?
They can't find the home button.
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
What runs faster than Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair?
His Internet.
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife get annoyed with him?
He had an affair with Alexa.
Picture of yo mama last Christmas and the damn thing’s still printing.
What do robots 🤖 shave with?
Laser blades!
Your mama is so fat, the photo I took of her last Christmas is still printing.
If I die, delete my search history.
An orphan tried to make an app about orphans, but there was no home page.