Technology jokes
What did the HP say to a Dell?
Hello!
A husband got a message from his neighbor one day. It read, "Hey, I'm sorry I had to tell you like this but I have been doing your wife for months now." The husband went to go grab his gun and shot his wife. He hid the evidence and a few hours later he got another message from his neighbor saying, "Sorry, meant using your wifi."
Why did God make men?
Because you can't teach a vibrator how to mow the lawn...
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... He died of hearing aids.
Yo mama so fat that when she took a selfie, she needed two phones.
Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?
What did the mincrater do when his Xbox turns off?
He raged! 😱
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, because I need new parts for my go-kart.
Man: Hey Siri!
Siri: Yes?
Man: I'm desperate, will you marry me?
Siri: Uh...
*phone literally explodes*
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
What is the difference between a laser beam and a trash can?
A trash can doesn't rage.
You do not spell "computer" like this; you spell it like this: "cumputer."
The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far away from the wall; the cord unplugged.
Why can't orphans use phones? Because they don't know where the home button is.
How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost internet connection.
I made a website for orphans.
Silly me, I forgot the home page.