Superhero jokes
I am Thor.
And next year, I will be five.
A fish is dead, who do you call? Aquaman!
Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the Flash stop dead in his tracks.
What do superheroes put in their drinks?
Just ice.
A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.
First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.
What’s the difference between Batman and the Black Panther?
Batman returns.
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.
What do you call a group of Alabama superheroes?
The Incredibles.
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
What did Jessiey do?
Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!
What superhero will orphans never understand?
Homelander.
Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?
How does Skeletor feel after He-Man beats him up?
Skelesore.
They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!
What is Spiderman's favorite rice?
Uncle Ben's.
What did Spiderman say on September 11th, 2001?
"Look out, Here comes the Spiderman!"
Cause they about to taste my Morbius! I got that acrimonious odious Cause the bats are copious My blood flow is harmonious Bout to act felonious You know they hating us And we getting treasonous Woo when they get bit with the Morbius! I got that acrimonious odious Cause the bats are copious My blood flow is harmonious Bout to act felonious You know they hating us And we getting treasonous Woo when they get bit with the (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) Morbius (His name is Dr. Michael Morbius)
Is that a bird? Is that a plane? It's a plane!
Captain America is a 106-year-old virgin.
I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.