Superhero jokes
Why do New Yorkers get what Spider-Man is saying?
Because he always makes spider-sense.
Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.
Genie: Your wish is granted.
Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.
You heard of Spider-Man: No Way Home. Now get ready for:
Orphan: No Way Home.
What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.
This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.
What does a South African Batman wear? A cape.
Memes
His perfect pet
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
In the new Justice League movie, Flash can break glass by touching it, why is that?
Because Flash is not supported on Windows.
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
A poor person came up to me and said, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
Your hairline is so far back that Green Lantern became Blue Torch.
What's Superman's weaknesses? Kryptonite and horses.
A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"
He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.
The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."
Your mum is so fat, when she roleplayed Wonder Woman, she couldn't fit in the invisible jet.
What do orphans like to watch? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
Megamind.
What Pokemon is from the Avengers? Throh.
I called an orphan Spiderman because he's "no way home."
What is an orphan's favorite costume? Batman!
Your hairline looks like the Batman symbol.