Superhero

Superhero jokes

Spider-Man

Why do New Yorkers get what Spider-Man is saying?

Because he always makes spider-sense.

Orphan

Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.

Genie: Your wish is granted.

Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.

Orphan

You heard of Spider-Man: No Way Home. Now get ready for:

Orphan: No Way Home.

Porn star

What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.

This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.

Batman

If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?

"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."

Flash

In the new Justice League movie, Flash can break glass by touching it, why is that?

Because Flash is not supported on Windows.

Wheelchair

Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.

Spider-Man

A poor person came up to me and said, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."

Batman

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

Robin, get in the car.

Superman

A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"

He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.

The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."

Mum

Your mum is so fat, when she roleplayed Wonder Woman, she couldn't fit in the invisible jet.