In the new Justice League movie, Flash can break glass by touching it, why is that?
Because Flash is not supported on Windows.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
A poor person came up to me and said, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
Your hairline is so far back that Green Lantern became Blue Torch.
What's Superman's weaknesses? Kryptonite and horses.
A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"
He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.
The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."
How does Skeletor feel after He-Man beats him up?
Skelesore.
They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!
What do superheroes put in their drinks?
Just ice.
Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the Flash stop dead in his tracks.
I am Thor.
And next year, I will be five.
What do orphans like to watch? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
What Pokemon is from the Avengers? Throh.
Megamind.
Your mum is so fat, when she roleplayed Wonder Woman, she couldn't fit in the invisible jet.
What is Spiderman's favorite rice?
Uncle Ben's.
Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?
What superhero will orphans never understand?
Homelander.
