Superhero jokes
Sonic can run around the world in a second.
In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.
Your forehead built like Darkseid from DC.
When Ant-Man is the size of an atom, how can he breathe?
Wanda and Daredevil have so much in common.
They both wear red, they're both in Marvel, and they both lost their Vision!
Why do orphans like Spider-Man?
100% of them are like him!
I can explain Superman and Batman movies in one sentence.
Two orphans fighting in the rain.
Your hairline looks like the Batman symbol.
Why does the Flash eat ostriches? Because he likes fast food.
Yo mama is so fat Thanos snapped twice.
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
What is an orphan's favorite costume? Batman!
A boy went to a genie and said, "I want to be like Batman."
He went home, his parents weren't there.
What would Batman do if he wasn't rich?
He would be robin.
Superman has been called to a huge house fire. Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!" Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--" Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."
I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.
Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?
Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!
It's all fun and games until someone fails at becoming Superman.
I would rather do my own laundry, not my uncle's laundry, because I ain't no damn butler like Alfred from Batman. I don't live in no damn Batcave by Gotham tity.
They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!