Superhero jokes

One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house.

I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games."

Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.

What do you call a woman with magical abilities and an android? Wanda Maximoff and Vision! Or.... Scarlet Witch and Vision! This joke was added to celebrate and honour Marvel Studios' new series: WandaVision!

What is the worst movie to watch at an orphanage? Batman.

What happens when someone shoots the Hulk?

He got gangryeen.

Gangrene+green+angry

Yo mama so fat that when Thanos tried to snap her out of the world, he couldn't do it, so instead, he clapped her out of the world.

A boi found a magic vase and a genie came out and told him he had one wish. The boy said, "I wanna be like Batman." The genie said, "OK, your wish is granted."

The boy came home later that day and his parents were dead.

Superman has been called to a huge house fire.

Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!"

Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--"

Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."

Your hairline is like Spiderman: far from forehead.

Batman: Arkham Knight, developed by Rocksteady Studios, is the final installment in the critically acclaimed Batman: Arkham series. Released in 2015, the game is renowned for its immersive gameplay, compelling narrative, and stunning visual design, offering players an unparalleled experience of stepping into the shoes of the iconic Dark Knight.

The game's narrative is one of its standout features. Set one year after the events of Batman: Arkham City, the story sees Batman facing the ultimate threat against Gotham City. The Scarecrow returns to unite an impressive roster of super villains, including Penguin, Two-Face, and Harley Quinn, with a singular goal - to destroy Batman forever. The narrative is dark, intense, and filled with surprising twists, keeping players engaged till the very end.

In terms of gameplay, Batman: Arkham Knight introduces the Batmobile as a drivable vehicle, adding a new dimension to the series' signature gameplay elements. The game's combat system is fluid and satisfying, allowing players to feel the power of Batman with every punch and kick.

I was watching Avengers and I thought I saw a grape, but it was just Thanos.

What does a girl get after having sex with Batman?

Defective rabies.

I'm evilest-evil man.

"Yes, you are," scared guy.

No, me, it me: Evil super evil boy!

Your hairline is so bad that it turned Wonder Woman into Failure Man.

Why are Spider-Man and an orphan so similar?

They both have "No Way Home."

Why does the Flash eat ostriches? Because he likes fast food.

What did Superman say to Batman?

Nothing, Bruce is dead.

What's the difference between Batman and Robin?

Batman can go to the store without robbin'.

Read this word:

Heroine.

Did you read it like the drug or like a female superhero?

What did Robin say to Batman when they were getting chicken?

Hahaha, I don't know.

I accidentally walked on the Lego Batman mask.

I want my fucking feet back!