"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
"If you want to win swiftly, camp the enemies' spawn."
- Sun Tzu
You may not rest, there are monsters nearby”
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Hey guys can we stop making these jokes, If my mom sees this I will never see the sun again. Oh . . . :( continue
You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.
We destroyed two boats, and they dropped the sun on us twice!
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, you're in my sun (son)."
What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.
What did the girls on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
"Could you move? Your sun is in my son."
The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.
Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!
Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.
Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.
Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students were so bright!
Why can't you starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there.
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
