Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
When you look at the sun, it's like looking at me.
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.
Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.
"Warning, all unsaved progress will be lost." - Sun Tzu, The Art Of War.
"A foolish man is lactose intolerant. A wise man simply tolerates it."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."
-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Your forehead is so big, it takes the sun a year to shine on every part of it.
"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."
"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"
What did the pig say when he was in the sun?
I'm bacon.
What is the sun's favorite chocolate bar?
The Milky Way!
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the concert?
Because his lyrics were so fire, he needed protection!
Why did the rapper go to the beach?
To drop some WAVES.
You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.
Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
Why will we never get hungry in the desert?
We have lots of sand-which's.
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.
Two pedophiles are on a beach.
One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!
