Sun

Sun jokes

Uranus

Teacher: What’s the closest planet?

Kids yell: Sun.

Except for one.

Other kid: Uranus.

Teacher: Uranus?

Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.

Teeth

Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.

Lactose

"A foolish man is lactose intolerant. A wise man simply tolerates it."

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Memes

Lag

"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."

-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Book

"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."

Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

Forehead

Your forehead is so big, it takes the sun a year to shine on every part of it.

Magic

"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."

"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"

Rapper

Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the concert?

Because his lyrics were so fire, he needed protection!

Meth

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.

Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA

Desert

Why will we never get hungry in the desert?

We have lots of sand-which's.

Pedophile

Two pedophiles are on a beach.

One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"

Tomato

Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.

Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."

Snowman

Why did the snowman say, "Good day," to the sun?

Because it was afraid to melt away by the sun.