Sun jokes
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
When you look at the sun, it's like looking at me.
Your forehead is so big, it takes the sun a year to shine on every part of it.
"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."
"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"
What is the sun's favorite chocolate bar?
The Milky Way!
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"A foolish man is lactose intolerant. A wise man simply tolerates it."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Why did the rapper go to the beach?
To drop some WAVES.
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.
Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.
"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."
-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
What did the pig say when he was in the sun?
I'm bacon.
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the concert?
Because his lyrics were so fire, he needed protection!
Why will we never get hungry in the desert?
We have lots of sand-which's.
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.
Two pedophiles are on a beach.
One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"
Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!
Why did the snowman say, "Good day," to the sun?
Because it was afraid to melt away by the sun.
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."