Suicide Jokes

Rope: Hey buddy! Want to hang?

Me: Maybe I can hang later...

Cock: Can I have attention from your Dad now?

If an emo and a leaf are in a tree, which one will fall first?

Answer: The leaf. The rope saved the emo.

The granddaughter wanted to see granny. She killed herself.

What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?

The rope.

Hitler is a national hero, he killed Hitler... Oh wait.

Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.

I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"

What is an emo kid's favorite Tool? A rope.

What do depression and suicide have in common?

Nothing, they're both hanging.

When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.

What is an emo's favorite song?

"Suicidal."

You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????

What can't you say to an emo?

Hang in there, buddy!

Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?

Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed from a gorilla jumping off a tall building?

It was called Fall-adelphia.

— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?

— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."