Suicide jokes
What is an emo's favorite song?
"Suicidal."
You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????
When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.
Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.
I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"
What is an emo kid's favorite Tool? A rope.
What do depression and suicide have in common?
Nothing, they're both hanging.
Hitler is a national hero, he killed Hitler... Oh wait.
Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed from a gorilla jumping off a tall building?
It was called Fall-adelphia.
— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?
— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.
My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?
The rope.
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
Wanna suck my dick?
No? Well then I'm gonna go hang.
How do you make an emo jump?
A bridge.
What is the difference between a Walking Dead and you? He doesn't feel pain.
What falls first, an apple or an Emo kid?
An apple, because the Emo has a rope holding them.
What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?