Suicide jokes

What is an emo kid's favorite Tool? A rope.

What is an emo's favorite song?

"Suicidal."

You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????

When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.

What can't you say to an emo?

Hang in there, buddy!

— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?

— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.

What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.

I have a friend who's a suicide bomber. He's a blast at parties.

If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?

How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)

How do pigs kill themselves?

They commit Kermit-cide.

How did the inkjet printer kill himself?

He drank cyan-ide.

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

What did the tree say to the depressed kid?

"Stop hanging around."

Me die.

What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?

One does it for the cash, the other for the views.

Guys, should I do it? You know what I mean.

What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.