Suicide jokes
An apple and an emo are at the top of a tree, they both fall at the same time.
Who hit the ground first?
The apple won because the emo had forgotten to connect the internet.
What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?
Showing them the ropes.
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
Are you a rope? Cause I'm tryna put you around my neck 😏
Shout out to the terrorists, your year is starting off with a bang!
My bro had siblings who survived they could have helped him at any moment and now we have people around with the last name Hitler.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.
One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”
What do Woody and Hitler have in common?
Their bodies go limp before they get caught.
What did the tree say to the kid with the rope?
Nothing, he was hanging.
Stop joking about suicide, it's not funny. You people must be so ignorant to be able to joke about such serious issues that you clearly are uneducated on.
It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title?
Finding Emo.
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
I will pay someone to kill me.
OTHERS (MOTIVATED): If I had FLYING as a SUPERPOWER, FALLING would be the BEGINNING STAGE.
ME (DEPRESSED): OK, GOOD IDEA! LETS FALL OFF THE CLIFF AND FLY TO HEAVEN!!
What's red and spins really fast?
Kurt Cobain's ceiling fan.
What's the one thing me and the New Year's ball have in common?
It's not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this New Year's.
The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"
Why do depressed people go to camp? To learn how to tie knots tighter.
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
How do pigs kill themselves?
They commit Kermit-cide.