Suicide jokes
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
Are you a gun because I want to live with you?
I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
Why did the orphan kill itself?
Because he's depressed about no family.
Why did the emo kid hate the tree?
It left him hanging.
Why did the orphan die?
He killed himself because the lack of a support system made him depressed.
Why do trees never call emo kids? Because they always hang up on them.
I wish I was at a Western bar; then I would get shot.
Me lol.
Yo mama so fat that when she attempted suicide, she bounced to Area 51.
What’s the easiest way to dig a hole to China?
Through my arm.
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.
Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)
I wish the grass in my back lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.
Why couldn't Bob hang himself?
Because he had no arms to tie a knot. :'-)
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
Said the man angered to his wife:
"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"
Why did the suicidal person cross the road? He was waiting for a car.
How ISS greets their friend.
"You the BOMB!"