Suicide jokes

What did the tree do to the emo?

He left him hanging.

What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple?

One hits the ground when they fall from the tree.

Yo mama is so ugly, her self-portraits hanged themselves.

Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.

10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.

My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.

Are you a rope? Because I want to hang sometimes.

If you drop an emo and a piece of paper out of a tree, you know what will hit the floor first? The paper, because the rope will stop the emo.

Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.

So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.

*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"

*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*

Lemme just say one thing:

Depression is not funny. Two of my best friends have it, and it's actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. It's really not funny to joke about depression.

Rape victim: I want to die.

Man: Hang in there.

Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.

My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.

Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.

What happened when the depressed kid went to give it a high five?

It left him hanging.

What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.

Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.

This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"

And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."

What does Kurt have in common with painters?

They paint walls.

Yo mama so fat that when she attempted suicide, she bounced to Area 51.

When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.

I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.