Suicide

Suicide jokes

Cliff

I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.

Orphan

Why did the orphan kill itself?

Because he's depressed about no family.

Orphan

Why did the orphan die?

He killed himself because the lack of a support system made him depressed.

Mama

Yo mama so fat that when she attempted suicide, she bounced to Area 51.

Way

What’s the easiest way to dig a hole to China?

Through my arm.

Orphan

What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.

Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.

Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.

Noose

Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?

Person: Yea, why?

Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)

Grass

I wish the grass in my back lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.

Knot

Why couldn't Bob hang himself?

Because he had no arms to tie a knot. :'-)

Difference

What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?

I know how to use an exercise band.

Man

Said the man angered to his wife:

"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"

Road

Why did the suicidal person cross the road? He was waiting for a car.

Train

The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"