Hitler is a national hero, he killed Hitler... Oh wait.
— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?
— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.
Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed from a gorilla jumping off a tall building?
It was called Fall-adelphia.
I'm a magician. Watch my closing act at the end of the rope.
Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.
What is an emo's favorite song?
"Suicidal."
You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!
My friend tried high fiving me left him hanging
Me die
Why did the suicide bomber get promoted?
Because he was blowing up at work. 💀😈
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
