Suicide jokes

Are you a gun because I want to live with you?

A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."

I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.

When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.

Yo mama so fat that when she attempted suicide, she bounced to Area 51.

What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.

Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.

Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.

I wish the grass in my back lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.

Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?

Person: Yea, why?

Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)

What’s the easiest way to dig a hole to China?

Through my arm.

Why couldn't Bob hang himself?

Because he had no arms to tie a knot. :'-)

What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?

I know how to use an exercise band.

Said the man angered to his wife:

"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"

Why did the suicidal person cross the road? He was waiting for a car.

Don’t you just wanna hang around, like Chester?

How ISS greets their friend.

"You the BOMB!"

I tried to name my grass "emo" so it will cut itself.

Why do emo kids not jump?

They're still in the sky.

The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"

Friend: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

Friend: Your life.

Me: Ahhh, I wish!

*jumps off building*

Wow, Aiden, maybe you've been mean to Tenya. She is hurting, close to killing herself, but hey, I can pick your ass since, ya know, that is what I do!