Style jokes

What do you call a fucked up mullet? A fullet.

I gave a blind man a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.

The police: Pull over!

The kid: Do you know who my dad is?

The police: What, your mom did not tell you?

What type of flour do orphans use?

- Self-raising.

Tuxedos suit you.

Doctor Seuss break up lines:

"One fish, two fish, blue fish, red fish, I'm breaking up with you, bitch."

I love your hair today.

How did you get it to come out your nose like that?

If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, does that mean your pants are tucked into your shirt?

Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?

The adult person I asked: Cereal?

Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?

The person: Yes.

Me: WHAT?!!!??!!

I noticed my friend's hairline yesterday. I could tell it was a Supercuts hair salon haircut, so how I could tell was 'cuz it was super alright, super lame.

Husband: "Honey, I just bought these special Olympic-style condoms!"

Wife: "Olympic-style condoms? What makes them so special?"

Husband: "They come in three colors: gold, silver, and bronze."

Wife: "Ooh, sweet. What color are you going to wear tonight?"

Husband: "Gold, of course!"

Wife: "Why don't you wear silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change."

If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.

Your hairline is so screwed that Michael Jackson can't even moonwalk to your hairline.

How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?

God fucked her.

I am so cool that even the fridge or a snowman would shiver his timbers when they see me :).

"Spray and pray," also known as a priest with an altar boy.

I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.

Your hairline is so bad, it goes back in time!

One time, Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise.

No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style.

His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.

Why did Steven Hawking only tell one-liners?

Because he couldn't do standup.