Attire jokes

What's a rapper's favorite type of clothing?

RAP-TORS.

What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

A tire.

(A tire as in clothes and the tire? U get it? No? I'm lonely. Add me on Xbox: DECIMUS PAX)

I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀

An old man goes to church.

One Sunday morning, an old cowboy entered a church just before services were to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt, and boots that were very worn and ragged. In his hand, he carried a worn-out old hat and an equally worn-out Bible.

The church he entered was in a very upscale and exclusive part of the city. It was the largest and most beautiful church the old cowboy had ever seen. The people of the congregation were all dressed in expensive clothes and accessories.

As the cowboy took a seat, the others moved away from him. No one greeted, spoke to, or welcomed him. They were all appalled at his appearance and did not attempt to hide it.

As the old cowboy was leaving the church, the preacher approached him and asked the cowboy to do him a favor. "Before you come back in here again, have a talk with God and ask him what he thinks would be appropriate attire for worship."

The old cowboy assured the preacher he would.

The next Sunday, he showed back up for the services wearing the same ragged jeans, shirt, boots, and hat. Once again, he was completely shunned and ignored. The preacher approached the man and said, "I thought I asked you to speak to God before you came back to our church."

"I did," replied the old cowboy.

"If you spoke to God, what did he tell you the proper attire should be for worshiping in here?" asked the preacher.

"Well, sir, God told me that He didn't have a clue what I should wear. He said He'd never been in this church."

What does a house wear?

A dress.

What do lady dogs (bitches) wear to work?

Pant suits.

What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.

What do lawyers wear to court?

Lawsuits.

My question is, how do fat people fit in tuxedos? Honestly, don’t wear those. Wear your regular clothes. Your belly is just gonna pop out!

Tuxedos suit you.

I tried to dress hot so my boyfriend would cast some attention upon me, but it just made him sweat.

Jeans! (DYM 98)

I got them red Gucci bracelets.

What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?

Swimming trunks.

90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.