Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
What do you call a stoned kid with Down syndrome?
A baked potato.
What is an Italian massage?
An Italian Catholic priest giving a blowjob inside the confessional booth during Lent.
What's long and black?
The line at Popeyes.
Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.
Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?
A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Q: What is a Karen called in Europe?
A: An American.
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
The lady says, "Come again!"
The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
Why do blondes make bad bank robbers?
Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
Q: Why can't a blonde call 911?
A: Because she can't find the 11.
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
What's the difference between a coat hanger and an emo?
Nothing, they both hang.
Yo dad's so stupid, he came back after he got the milk.
What do you call a Russian pharmacist?
"Ivan Astichestykov."
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team?
Because all of them that can jump, swim, and run are already here.
Q: What's really long and black?
A: The line at KFC.
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
I don't need a punchline. Karens are the only joke I need.
