Sport jokes
What’s better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Walking.
Why do you think China should have a baseball team?
They can destroy the entire world with a single bat.
What’s better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.
What does cake and baseball have in common?
They both need a batter.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush!
Why doesn't Mexico win any medals in the summer Olympics anymore?
Because all the Mexicans that can run, swim, or jump are already here.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They ain’t got no home to run to.
Why can’t England people play chess? They ain’t got no queen.
Why don't gays shop at sports authority?
They prefer Dick's.
Did you hear about the gay guy who got kicked off the golf course?
He was playing with too many strokes.
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Why are the Chinese bad at baseball?
Because they ate all the bats.
Yo mama's so stupid that when she went to the Super Bowl, she brought a spoon.
I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!
At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"
Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.
One day I was very happy. I managed to win the lottery and receive a free vacation trip to Saudi Arabia!
Everything was going well until suddenly the FRAUD appeared! It was him, PRISTIANO PENALDO! He dived toward me and grabbed my lottery ticket. I asked him why he is doing this, only for him to reply "I need trip to Saudi Arabia to statpad the PENS!" as he dived back through my window.
Shame on you for stealing my vacation and ruining my day! You are no longer my Idol Pristianooooo!
What’s better than winning a medal at the Paralympics?
Being able to walk.
What do you call a fast boat?
Usain Boat.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They can never do a home run.