What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?
Cause that's the only way they get love.
Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game?
A: They stand near the fans! 🏀🏀😆😆
WHAT IS A UNBORN BABIES OLIMPIC SPORT... DODGE THE COATHANGER
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They don't know where home is.
I kicked a soccer ball at a wheelchair kid and said ROCKET LEAGUE
Why is it annoying to eat by basketball players? Because they dribble all the time.
What do cake and baseball have in common?
Both need batters
Why is basketball such a messy sport?
Cuz the players are always dribbling everywhere!
Why do orphans not know how to play baseball Because they cannot find the home
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
what are orphan favorite sports team? the home team
Like a lot of people watching the Olympics, I'm wondering why black people don't just take over the earth.
He turns, he shoots!
And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...
And Sterling has taken a dive. That's all for financial news, back to the football.
And there the referee taking down Ronaldo's number. Not really the time or the place but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.
A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.
Let's take a look at the Swedish bench for today's game. 12.99 from Ikea.
And the winner of the Tour de France is awarded, as ever, with the yellow jersey. To remind him what colour his piss is meant to be.
A day in the life of a Biden voter.
$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400..some day. No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages. $15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe. 50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving. Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports. New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects. Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up. Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.
