What's red and white and goes 250 miles per hour?
A baby in a blender ;)
I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.
The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
Why does a cheetah cheat to always win?
9/11 pilots are the best readers.
They went through 30 stories in less than an hour.
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.
The reason your dad never came back with the milk is 'cause he ran 88 mph downhill.
The FitnessGramTM Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one.
Why do cheetahs always get 100 on a test?
They’re cheetahs!
Your mom is so slow it took her 9 months to create a joke.
I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"
Watersharky Music Productions Presents As It Was by Harry Styles.
Holdin' me back Gravity's holdin' me back I want you to hold out the palm of your hand Why don't we leave it at that?
Nothin' to say When everything gets in the way Seems you cannot be replaced And I'm the one who will stay, oh-oh-oh
In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same
Answer the phone "Harry, you're no good alone Why are you sitting at home on the floor? What kind of pills are you on?"
Ringin' the bell And nobody's coming to help Your daddy lives by himself He just wants to know that you're well, oh-oh-oh
In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same
Go home, get ahead, light-speed internet I don't wanna talk about the way that it was Leave America, two kids follow her I don't wanna talk about who's doin' it first.
Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.
Orphans: Going 180.
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.
Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
A: One got to finish a race.
You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.
Sonic says: "Gotta go fast!"
The Hulk SMASH!
Orphan says: "Gotta go home!"
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-kart.
