Speed jokes
Why did the cheetah get sad?
'Cause it didn't have any balls to suck.
What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?
Paul Walker's death.
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.
Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?
Because they don't have them on the inside.
What's a cheetah's fav food?
Fast food!
Why do cheetahs always win the race? Because he cheats, duh!
Roses are red, bow down to your master, children are fast, but I am faster.
Who are the world's fastest readers?
9/11 victims; they went through 91 stories in 11 seconds.
Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.
You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.
I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.
Why is the cheetah super good at hide and seek tag? Because he was too fast!
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!
Red: snooore, snoooore
Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*
Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*
Chuck VS RED
Both LOSE!
You make Sanic look like a PRINCESS when he's next to you.
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"
I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"
Who would win in a race, Stephen Hawking or a turtle?
The turtle, because it can walk.
I like my women like I like my traction control: disabled.