Speech jokes

I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.

I got no joke.

What if Hitler did not say "bombs away," he said "lambs are slayed?"

Hello worstjokesever.com, I am not typing but instead using a microphone to speech, ding me a period.

I don’t see what’s coming up, but I don’t know why I am sending, so it will be random or funny or just stupid, LOL. So like and subscribe and...

Say "traffic," and replace "r" with "h." It sounds like... that thicc.

I would make a clock joke, but I don't have time.

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

......

What's the difference between a rapist's mouth and a sewer?

Nothing, they both spout shit.

Would you steal 20 dollars from a stupid 6 year old kid with Down syndrome who can't talk and make ah ah ah noises, or get one dollar for saying the N word?

Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."

What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... "How many fingers am I holding up?"

My wife's dyslexic, but hey, nobody's perfect.

There was a Cheerio that had a job. He worked hard at it, and the boss came up and promoted him to the vice president of the Cheerios. So he needed a speech. He kept practicing and practicing and now he was thirsty. It was almost time for his speech, so he went to the drinking fountain, but there was a huge line. So he went to the lake, but he saw tons of garbage and what he thought was a cereal killer. So he found this bowl of punch, but he realized... there was no punchline.

What do you call a rapper who can’t rhyme?

A speech impediment.

A person went to tell a joke: "Knock knock!" "Who’s there?" "I don’t remember!" (I think we need to moove on to the next joke now.)

I just now made this one up! Then I realized it is in the cow category, so I added the moove on part! 😂

I like my new... e-a-tree and a tree that is a magic house and a tree tree and a...

How I talk: Hello

How Stitch talks: HeLlO.

Meant to say my friend's nan, not man.

You mehheheeheheeeehehehe.

Cock.