Speech jokes
Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.
Do you know Bumo?
Bumo deez nuts.
What do you call a fat spеaky in a wheelchair spеaky chair?
What do you call a person with no arms and legs?
You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.
Má ég fara heim?
(In an infant-esque voice.)
Memes
Hey, I'm Gwen. I just want to say I am speechless.
The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."
What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.
My friend said, “there shouldn’t be discrimination, just black and normal.”
That was also the same guy who said [link to joke].
What did the duck say to the pond?
"Fuck Trump."
When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'
Why couldn't the horse give out a speech?
Option one: Horses can't speak at all.
Option two: His voice was a little *hoarse*.
What do you call a fat motivational speaker?
Four chin teller.
There will be better punchlines at BlessedBrian’s FUNERAL than in his JOKES.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ahoy Mateys.
Ahoy Mateys who?
Ahoy mateys, balls fit in your mouth? LOLOLOLOLOLOL
What do you call a favorite joke that isn’t your favorite?
None fave. Foch heads.
Kid 1: Do you know Candace?
Kid 2: Candace who?
Kid 1: Candace dick fit in your mouth!
My speech impediment has gotten so worse that I stutter when typing sentences.
Say "sukki" 10 times fast.