There will be better punchlines at BlessedBrian’s FUNERAL than in his JOKES.
"My name must taste good; it's always in your mouth."
What do you call a smart booty?
A wise-crack!
Say "urine egger" five times fast.
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... How many fingers am I holding up?
Say "Mike Wizowski" fast to a teenager and I will get you $100000000000.
What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?
"What's up?"
What's the difference between the microphone and Bambi?
One is a Welsh idea, the other's a well shy deer.
Say "traffic," and replace "r" with "h." It sounds like... that thicc.
Hello worstjokesever.com, I am not typing but instead using a microphone to speech, ding me a period.
I don’t see what’s coming up, but I don’t know why I am sending, so it will be random or funny or just stupid, LOL. So like and subscribe and...
What if Hitler did not say "bombs away," he said "lambs are slayed?"
What's the difference between a rapist's mouth and a sewer?
Nothing, they both spout shit.
Would you steal 20 dollars from a stupid 6 year old kid with Down syndrome who can't talk and make ah ah ah noises, or get one dollar for saying the N word?
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
......
Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."
My wife's dyslexic, but hey, nobody's perfect.
There was a Cheerio that had a job. He worked hard at it, and the boss came up and promoted him to the vice president of the Cheerios. So he needed a speech. He kept practicing and practicing and now he was thirsty. It was almost time for his speech, so he went to the drinking fountain, but there was a huge line. So he went to the lake, but he saw tons of garbage and what he thought was a cereal killer. So he found this bowl of punch, but he realized... there was no punchline.
What do you call a rapper who can’t rhyme?
A speech impediment.
