Speech jokes

I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"

I say what Kay’s jesjejejeeuedeeeeeeee.

Say "sukki" 10 times fast.

Why is he called Stephen Hawking?

Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

My speech impediment has gotten so worse that I stutter when typing sentences.

What do you call a favorite joke that isn’t your favorite?

None fave. Foch heads.

Kid 1: Do you know Candace?

Kid 2: Candace who?

Kid 1: Candace dick fit in your mouth!

Ready? Go!

I was trying to make a joke about fighting, but I couldn't come up with a good punchline.

Tada mun ang hai jiwain taage naal khota bania Honda ae.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Ahoy Mateys.

Ahoy Mateys who?

Ahoy mateys, balls fit in your mouth? LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.

"My name must taste good; it's always in your mouth."

What do you call a smart booty?

A wise-crack!

Say "urine egger" five times fast.

What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... How many fingers am I holding up?

Say "Mike Wizowski" fast to a teenager and I will get you $100000000000.

Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?

A: It means cats and dogs can talk.

Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"