Speech jokes

"Aren't you going back home now?"

"No, I am going back home."

Say "sukki" 10 times fast.

What do you call a favorite joke that isn’t your favorite?

None fave. Foch heads.

My speech impediment has gotten so worse that I stutter when typing sentences.

Kid 1: Do you know Candace?

Kid 2: Candace who?

Kid 1: Candace dick fit in your mouth!

Ready? Go!

Yes yes yes the yes yes he did but what u tolk xjxfjgjcmbjhdkggdjlud.

Tada mun ang hai jiwain taage naal khota bania Honda ae.

I was trying to make a joke about fighting, but I couldn't come up with a good punchline.

When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.

"My name must taste good; it's always in your mouth."

What do you call a smart booty?

A wise-crack!

Say "urine egger" five times fast.

Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?

A: It means cats and dogs can talk.

Say "Mike Wizowski" fast to a teenager and I will get you $100000000000.

Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"

What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... How many fingers am I holding up?

What's the difference between the microphone and Bambi?

One is a Welsh idea, the other's a well shy deer.

What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?

"What's up?"