Space jokes
What do you call a student in space?
An astrodent.
How do astronomers organize a party? They planet.
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
A telescope has two uses:
1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.
Yo mama so fat, her belly enters the room 10 minutes before she does.
Did you know China wanted to send a dog to space?
They didn't because they ate it.
Your forehead so big it's got its own gravitational pull.
Your mama's so fat that when she went to space, there was no space left.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket!
TV: Water found on Mars...
Mars: 1
Africa: 0
NASA called me and they said they reached your hairline.
Your forehead is so big when you walk by I can't see what's in front of me.
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”
If the moon landing was fake, so is your house.
What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.
Why is Saturn richer than other planets?
It has a ring!
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
*trigger alert*
Why did the racist cop shut down the space brothel?
Because there were too many black holes.
An assassin threatens a planet.
The planet remains calm.
The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"
How many ears does Captain Picard have?
Three: A left ear, a right ear, and a final front-ear.