Space jokes
How do astronomers organize a party? They planet.
Yo mama so fat, her belly enters the room 10 minutes before she does.
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
A telescope has two uses:
1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.
What did the bones on the moon tell the astronaut?
The cow never made it.
Memes
The ultimate speedrun
Your mama's so fat that when she went to space, there was no space left.
What do you call a student in space?
An astrodent.
Your forehead so big it's got its own gravitational pull.
I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"
NASA called me and they said they reached your hairline.
TV: Water found on Mars...
Mars: 1
Africa: 0
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”
What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.
If the moon landing was fake, so is your house.
Why is Saturn richer than other planets?
It has a ring!
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
*trigger alert*
Why did the racist cop shut down the space brothel?
Because there were too many black holes.
An assassin threatens a planet.
The planet remains calm.
The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"
How many ears does Captain Picard have?
Three: A left ear, a right ear, and a final front-ear.
What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?
The Captain's Log.