Something jokes

What should people do with their floppy dicks?

I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!

Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.

People at school thought I had special powers. It was something called "Constant supervision."

Like, if you hate wearing a mask.

Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!

True story by the way.

Run, or something will come to you, and you will be afraid to tell it to stop following you.

I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.

I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"

If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:

So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.

I call this my great talk with Siri.

Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.

Siri: My mother? Huh?

Me: Did I stutter?

Siri: Interesting question.

Me: It wasn’t a question.

Siri: I’m not sure I understand?

Me: You should understand.

Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?

Me: No, you b***.

"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!

If something doesn't make sense to an Eskimo... is it counterINUITive?

What do you call an orphan who likes football?

Because someone will actually give him something.

What do you say when a handicapped man forgets something? "He knew it like the back of his hand."

What's something red that is bad for your teeth?

A brick.

What do you do when you're sad?

Nothing, because you are just crying about something happening to you.

For some reason, people make fun of my name because it rhymes with something that starts with an F.

Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.

Bro, my forehead is so big whenever I need to find something on it, I need the exact coordinates.

What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?

Kid's.

A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.

The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”

I got something long stuck inside me last night, dammit, that needle hurt.