I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man." I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything
What does the initials NOW stand for? (A.) National Organization For Women (B.) National Organization of Whores (C.) All the above Answer: Since the initials Now can stand for anything the correct answer is all the above
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day and she said i could be anything i wanted to be if i put my mind to it, sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it even if it's messy
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear. Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him. Go on, so what did you do with ship them?
What do you call a deaf animal? Anything, it can't hear you.
Orphans can be let away with anything really bad at school Cause they can't be sent home for it
What do you say to make a redhead mad?
ANYTHING
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book. Man 2: aww books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore. Man 1: She was in the road and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore
Hi everyone today I am taking requets for anything u want me to say
I went to the doctors yesterday I said: when I touch my back it hurts when I touch my knee it hurts when I touch anything it hurts! 😣 what’s wrong with me Doctor: you’ve broken your finger
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣
You’re so poor, even the store didn’t let you buy anything free.
cool people i can do anything normal people can do nothing
Whoever said men will fuck anything that moves is *dead* wrong.
A pecan is motivated because pe-can do anything.
I dont trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive
Have you heard anything about this Chuck Norris guy yeh me neither
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint...my....house.’
