Something jokes

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.

What do you do when you're sad?

Nothing, because you are just crying about something happening to you.

For some reason, people make fun of my name because it rhymes with something that starts with an F.

"Do you have a noose?"

"Nose?"

"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."

"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"

"No."

*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*

What do you call an orphan who likes football?

Because someone will actually give him something.

I got something long stuck inside me last night, dammit, that needle hurt.

Huh, I’m pregnant again. Must be something in the air.

Yeah, your legs.

I hope you forget your password to something, only to send something to an email that you also forgot the password to.

Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.

What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?

Kid's.

A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.

The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”

Bro, my forehead is so big whenever I need to find something on it, I need the exact coordinates.

So NFL teams were playing football on me, and then Justin Jefferson hit something called "the gritty" on me.

What's something red that is bad for your teeth?

A brick.

"Pretend me please stop! I don't recall posting anything except commenting and posting something for Jordan C! Please stop!"

A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.

Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.

But apparently there is something in your heart, so I already have scissors in my heart.

I had something about tripping over ice.

Well, it slipped my mind, so I'll just test some diamonds to see if they're ice.

I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.