Something jokes

I hope you forget your password to something, only to send something to an email that you also forgot the password to.

Huh, I’m pregnant again. Must be something in the air.

Yeah, your legs.

I once masturbated in the bathroom.

I was looking for something, for a little help.

Looked in the wardrobe and found something perfect.

I'LL NEVER SEE A TOOTHBRUSH THE SAME WAY AGAIN!

"Do you have a noose?"

"Nose?"

"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."

"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"

"No."

*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*

It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.

Your hairline has a huge path between it, looks like Moses had something to do with it.

So NFL teams were playing football on me, and then Justin Jefferson hit something called "the gritty" on me.

I had something about tripping over ice.

Well, it slipped my mind, so I'll just test some diamonds to see if they're ice.

"Pretend me please stop! I don't recall posting anything except commenting and posting something for Jordan C! Please stop!"

A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.

I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.

Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.

But apparently there is something in your heart, so I already have scissors in my heart.

Gwen, this needs to stop, so please, this is not a dating website, go on Tinder or something, just not here. Hate me if it makes you feel better, but this is sickening!

My friend asked for something dark and creamy. I said..... "GU KHA".

I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.

Ert.

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.

Texter 2: How?

Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.

I asked Daveon if he ever considered trying something new, and he replied "why fix what ain't broke?"

Your hairline looks like something that came off the bottom of a Reese's cup.