Something jokes

What do you do when you're sad?

Nothing, because you are just crying about something happening to you.

For some reason, people make fun of my name because it rhymes with something that starts with an F.

Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.

Bro, my forehead is so big whenever I need to find something on it, I need the exact coordinates.

What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?

Kid's.

A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.

The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”

I got something long stuck inside me last night, dammit, that needle hurt.

I hope you forget your password to something, only to send something to an email that you also forgot the password to.

Huh, I’m pregnant again. Must be something in the air.

Yeah, your legs.

I once masturbated in the bathroom.

I was looking for something, for a little help.

Looked in the wardrobe and found something perfect.

I'LL NEVER SEE A TOOTHBRUSH THE SAME WAY AGAIN!

"Do you have a noose?"

"Nose?"

"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."

"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"

"No."

*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*

It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.

Your hairline has a huge path between it, looks like Moses had something to do with it.

So NFL teams were playing football on me, and then Justin Jefferson hit something called "the gritty" on me.

I had something about tripping over ice.

Well, it slipped my mind, so I'll just test some diamonds to see if they're ice.

"Pretend me please stop! I don't recall posting anything except commenting and posting something for Jordan C! Please stop!"

A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.

I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.

Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.

But apparently there is something in your heart, so I already have scissors in my heart.

Gwen, this needs to stop, so please, this is not a dating website, go on Tinder or something, just not here. Hate me if it makes you feel better, but this is sickening!