Something jokes

I got kicked out of the hospital.

Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.

I may not be that good with puns on this site, but I got a skele-ton of jokes. Hey, what's the matter pal, is there something crawling under your skin?

What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?

Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.

Papyrus: I hate you, Frisk.

Frisk: This is why Mettaton doesn't fucking love you.

Sans: Kid, I will kill you.

Papyrus: (Remembers something) That's why you don't have a lover, you lonely giraffe!

One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”

It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*

Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.

Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.

"Fuck you, do something about it!"

A guy in a Costco was pretty pissed off at something. A guy walks up to him and says, "What's wrong, pal? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned aisle!"

If you have a friend that will not leave you alone about something, just simply tell them: "If you watch something, have you ever thought that you're in a movie when you watch a movie?"

Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."

We finally have something in common with Africa. They die of starvation, we die of overeating.

I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite.

They just need to leaf people alone or stick with something nicer.

What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?

Something big and warm 🍆.

Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.

Mum: And that is?

*Kid walks out.*

*Kid comes back in with milk.*

Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!

If I missed something, I'll give it to you. If you taked it, you are a mistake.

1st Person: Do you want to know something funny?

2nd Person: Yeah, sure!

1st Person: I don’t know, I’m German!

I have always been scared of stairs; they're always up to something.

I am reading a horror book in braille.

Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!

I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.