Someone's jokes
What do you call someone who is half a Jew?
Jew-ish.
what do baby’s and grenades have in common?
They both are silent but then when thrown at someone make a loud noise
If someone wears black, say, "If you see someone wears black, they always be emo."
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
Why did the orphans like church so much?
So they had someone to call father...
Why do orphans go to church?
So they can call someone father!
Someone asks a question: Who? Who asked? Boom, you"re done xxx.
If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that F was the villain (Alphabet Lore), I would be rich.
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.
At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.
If you say to someone, "Have a nice day!" it will make them happy. If you say, "Enjoy the next 24 hours," they'll be terrified.
What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.
If someone with a lisp dropped a hammer on their foot, would they be Thor?
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the router.
Why can’t you private text someone in a community?
Because a community has more than two people.
Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?
When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.
Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.
The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!
Can we please stop the fricking drama! I see people bullying other people, too. Gwen is not the only one. For God's sake, just do jokes! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don't even know each other, but we're still doing this stupid nonsense! Just make jokes, people! That is why it's called "Worst Jokes Ever," not "Bully People Ever." So shut up and get a life, dum-dums! Geez! The only reason why I come here is to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don't even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fricking world!!!!
"Addison, shut up. You're only 8 years old. What do you know?"
I might be 8, but at least I got some sense, and plus, I'm way smarter than you guys anyway. I'm in alert. You know, like a very, very, very intelligent kid! That can spell instead of saying "u," I say the true "you," instead of "pls," it's "please." Sorry if I did mean it... which I don't!
The reason why Steven H. died was that someone poisoned his chocolate mousse.
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"