Someone's jokes

I went to find someone to fuck in the streets for money, and I found a prostitute, but then she raped me. After she said it was amazing and instead let me push.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call dad. 🤣

Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.

I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?

One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.

Where are the others?

They're in his freezer.

What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?

One of them is a domesticated pet.

Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?

Kids: Because you're a psycho path.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So he had someone to call Father.

Why do prepubescent orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”.

It's sad someone has ligma.

Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.

Why did the orphan become a str1pper?

So she can have someone to call daddy.

Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.

Someone in my class described the KKK as ghosts with pointy hats... I mean, he's not wrong.

A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.

This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.

He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So they had someone to call Father.

When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?

Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"