Sleep jokes
Girl: Hey.
Orphan: Hi.
Girl: Wanna be friends?
Orphan: Sure.
Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.
Me: dozes off while driving. Everybody else on the passenger plane on September 11.
What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!
I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.
Yo mama so stupid, she put a ruler under a pillow to see how long she slept.
Why does Adam sleep early so his mum and stepdad can fuck on his bed?
I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like everyone else in the plane.
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.
When is it bedtime in the Jacksons' house?
When the big hand 🖐 meets the little 🤚.
What did the pillow say as it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!
Me: The man sleeped in a $200 bed in His hole life so why dose he need a $2,000 coffin?
My friend: They're cheaper at Costco.
Me: Oh shit, you're going to have "fun" this weekend.
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?
Breakfast in bed!
Kenny's favorite part of living in his mom's basement is sleeping with the landlady.
What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party—except you.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So one time, poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
I asked my mom to make me a brat. She was sleepy but I said do it anyway. My mom and my dad had fucked last night so he was on the couch but naked. She took a knife and sliced his dick, then put it on a bun, then ketchup and mustard. I said this tasted funny. She was snoring, then I threw it and said, "EW IS THIS A DICK WHAT THE FUCK AHHH!!!!?!?!!!!"
Ever since that day, they haven't fucked again because he ain't got nun to fuck with.
Why did the silly girl put sugar under her pillow?
She wanted to have sweet dreams. 😂
A boy asked his dad: "Why didn’t you make love with my mom, Daddy?"
Dad: "Because I’m gay."
*Son started making out with his daddy and sucking his daddy’s big peepee.*
Son: "W- Wait a minute. So how did I exist if you didn’t make love with my mom if you’re not straight?"
Dad: "Because you are not real, and I didn’t even have a wife."
The son woke up from his horrible nightmare, and he looked so scared. He did leave his bed to check out his dad, but he didn’t find his dad, until his dad entered the house, and he said to his son: "Why did you look so worried? I’m just bringing some food for breakfast."
Son: "Well, but why are your hands full of cum ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ?"
Dad: "Because I did it with you last night. Did you forget?"
Son: "But it was a nightmare..."
*Dad turns into a monster*
Dad: "I’m your nightmare!"
The son woke up, and he seemed too scared, and he found himself beside his dad torturing him after he discovered he’s gay.
The son with himself: "Wake up, b*tch, wake up, b*tch!!!!!!"
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂