Skill jokes

A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."

My worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.

why was the bad baseball player so good at bowling?

He kept making strikes.

My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.

Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.

Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.

My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.

They told me I'd never be good at poetry.

But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!

Jack and Jill went up a hill

To pick some dill.

Jack slid down the hill and hurt his leg of skill,

And he needed a painkiller pill.

Only a genius can say this.

I am stupid.

What comedy skill can’t any cripple master?

Stand up.

I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.

My ex-wife misses me, but her aim is getting better.

I don’t struggle with depression, at this point I’ve got it down. I’m good at depression.

Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!

There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.

I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"

Bro never learned how to play Jenga. 🙄

Me: How does this thing work?

ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.

ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*

Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.

Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.

Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.

Mfs be saying Kobe is good at basketball cause he is 6 feet, ye 6 feet underground.

No scope, bitch!