My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!
My worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.
My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.
Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.
Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.
My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.
They told me I'd never be good at poetry.
But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!
Only a genius can say this.
I am stupid.
I don’t struggle with depression, at this point I’ve got it down. I’m good at depression.
What comedy skill can’t any cripple master?
Stand up.
Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!
I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.
Me: How does this thing work?
ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.
ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*
Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.
Bro never learned how to play Jenga. 🙄
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
Mfs be saying Kobe is good at basketball cause he is 6 feet, ye 6 feet underground.
Jack and Jill went up a hill
To pick some dill.
Jack slid down the hill and hurt his leg of skill,
And he needed a painkiller pill.
No scope, bitch!
Why is a pro fighter like a fisher?
They both can throw a hook.
What do you call a blind photographer? A waste of money.
What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.
