Skill jokes
I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful.
Why can’t Helen Keller drive?
It’s because she’s dead.
Why are orphans so good at GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
Why is being an electrician the easiest job in the world? It's literally light work.
You suck harder than a vacuum ever will :)
Why are the Americans bad at chess?
Because they lost 2 towers.
why was the bad baseball player so good at bowling?
He kept making strikes.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What do you call a blind photographer? A waste of money.
Why are pedophiles good at playing guitar?
Because they are good at fingering A minor.
Damn Americans, they fucking suck at Clash Royale.
What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!
I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.
I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!
I can't walk, I can't talk, but I can drive a wheelchair.
Emo kids are so good at kicking football. I hear they have good hang time.
Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?
"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."
What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
How do you know America's bad at chess?
They lost 2 towers!
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.