Skill jokes
I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.
What do you call a bad player? A noob.
Did you know that..
Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.
Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.
I don't struggle with depression- like, at this point, I have it down. I'm good at depression.
Why does America suck at chess?
They lost two towers.
What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
Why do orphans suck at baseball? Because they never could play catch.
The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged and dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.
The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped, and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels,” he said. "Impressive," said the manager.
The man is given another. “Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats.”
The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said, “It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!”
Why was Hitler a Baka at mathematics? Because he can only count to Nein.
Why is the Titanic good at baseball? Because it sinks it.
Why are Germans so good at cleaning?
They have experience in ethnic cleansing.
My worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.
Why did Dad say no to the pool? Because he can't swim.
Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.
Lucas is bronze 1 in RL.
Why is the USA bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
My grandfather is a great fisherman, especially at baiting a rod.
I guess you could call him the Master Baiter.
Why are orphans good at math? Because they can subtract their parents from the family.
Me: How does this thing work?
ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.
ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*
Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.
I don’t struggle with depression, at this point I’ve got it down. I’m good at depression.