One night my brother asked me, "Am I a pro gamer?" I said, "No, you're not a Pro-grammer."
Some people can juggle chainsaws. Chuck Norris can juggle people juggling chainsaws.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Here are some skeleton jokes.
You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.
If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.
I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.
I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.
I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!
I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.
I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.
Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!
My friend Amir didn’t have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building, so he had a much better flying record.
My wife still misses me...
But her aim is getting better!
There was once a dark room with a dark light and a terrible electrician.
You: What you doing?
I wonder what you’re doing because you’re bad at math, hahahahaha!
My ex still misses me... But her aim is getting better every time!
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?
HAAAAAANNNNDDDDEEEEEEYYYYEEEEEE!
I know a lot of jokes, but I could learn a femor.
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
I am counting my fingers and get nine. Why?
Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...
Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)
AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]
Why aren't dogs good at dancing? Cuz they have 2 left feet!
When my friend says I suck at something, I'm like, "U swallow."
Only a genius can say this.
I am stupid.
