Similarity jokes
What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?
Both of those are commonly found in basements.
Jeffery Dahmer has two things: an RV and a pit.
What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas.
But what is similar is tha-
Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-!
Sorry 'bout that......
Now, as I was saying,
What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit.
Wait, a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-!
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
What is the difference between you and my dad?
Nothing.
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
What do me and a casino machine have in common? It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.
There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.
They always make me cry.
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?
B: They're both hot?
A: They're both massive.
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
They're both accidents.
What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?
You abort it.
What does a glory hole and a confessional booth have in common?
A blowjob is anonymous.
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
Why are orphanages like dogs?
Because they get adopted.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common? Firstly, they both went from black to white, and secondly, they both get turned on by kids.
How is a child with cancer and dark humor similar? They never get old.
What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?
When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.
Say this out loud: Alpha Kenny One.