Similarity jokes
What's the similarity between a 14-year-old girl and the fetus inside her?
They're both thinking, "Oh fuck, mom is gonna kill me!"
What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?
They both leave you hanging.
What did the baseball player say to the bassist?
Nice baseline!
I like my dynamite like I like my woman: hot and ready to explode.
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
What’s the similarity between a penis and a lollipop?
Kids can take both.
Why are women like diapers?
They’re usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable.
What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?
They can both do dirty things.
People are like potatoes.
We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.
What's the difference between George Bush and Donald Trump?
One is into airline security, and one is into wall, turrets, and rockets.
What's the similarity between George Bush and Donald Trump?
It just doesn't work...
How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?
They never get old.
What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come.
What do the names Alan and Jordan have in common?
An.
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:
The best thing they did was a wall.
What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree?
They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?
They both choose who they want.
What's similar between McDonald's and priests?
They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.