Sign Jokes

I got a call from MacDonald's they want there sign back.

Q) What is the ONLY zodiac sign ever to be surgically removed? A) Cancer.

"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo." -Al Nassr owner

I was walking home then I saw a wait sign a man came and took me I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson

What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map? Can you give me some pointers.

What did the blonde say when someone says "Your baby is so cute"?

"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"

you are so white even nippon paint tried to sign you

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

imagine a white van. now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombre on and his arm out the window and on the side of the van it says free candy. but there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back

why can't orphans fail a test because the teacher is gonna ask their parents to sign it

When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram

My ex was orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?

A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left. The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?” The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”

best friend *hold a sign up that says "what gender are you"* Me:uh male?.. best frend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"* Me: you silly goose *silence for like three sec* Me:still male though-

I saw a sign that said “Falling Rocks.” I tried it and it doesn’t.

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?

An American.

(If it's unoriginal, I apologize. My friend gave me this joke.)

-Signed, AdmiralKizaru.

So my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store so when I get there,there’s a sign but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead