I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.
The sign on their gate says: "Clothed Until Further Notice."
I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "autistic child zone". Then I thought to myself Oh shit that wasn't a dog!
I got a call from MacDonald's they want there sign back.
Q) What is the ONLY zodiac sign ever to be surgically removed? A) Cancer.
best friend *hold a sign up that says "what gender are you"* Me:uh male?.. best frend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"* Me: you silly goose *silence for like three sec* Me:still male though-
Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “what ever you wish for comes true once you slide down”. One kid stepped up and slid down, he wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river. The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money, he then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee”!
imagine a white van. now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombre on and his arm out the window and on the side of the van it says free candy. but there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back
why can't orphans fail a test because the teacher is gonna ask their parents to sign it
What did the blonde say when someone says "Your baby is so cute"?
"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"
Sign in sheet!
I was walking home then I saw a wait sign a man came and took me I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson
I saw a sign that said “Falling Rocks.” I tried it and it doesn’t.
So my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store so when I get there,there’s a sign but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead
This is true today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said “need money for strippers and weed”
So a Irish man is walking his poodle and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints. So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says sorry you can’t go in. The Irish man says why can’t I go in? Well you have a dog sir and that sign over there says no dogs aloud your going to have to leave him outside. Well the Irish man thinks quick and says. I’m blind it’s a seeing eye dog. The owner says that’s ridiculous a seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that. The Irish man says well what kind of dog did they give me??😂
dear doctor
ive heard its a good sign when women scream your first name during sex but recently women have been screaming my full name. its weird, i feel like im famous. Can you tell me what this means?
Yours Truly Ray Palp
Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.
These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god" Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld"
Mother: "Yeah I picked you up at the giftshop on my way out" Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan"
What's the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."
what does the sign say on the hooker house say afterwards they were on lockdown? A. We're on lockdown get lost pervert.
