Sign jokes
Why can't orphans play online games? Because they don't have parents to sign them up.
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde."
The blonde then taped the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.
What does the + sign stand for in LGBTQ+?
It’s the premium version of gay.
DO Not Touch - the worst thing you can read in Braille.
If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says "No Trespassing."
Why did Helen Keller sign the n-word?
She thought she was black.
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly, Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dove to save it. He said he always dives for pens.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I?
Sign outside a hair salon: "We'll color your hair or dye trying."
Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?
Parental Login: __________
I got kicked out of the hospital.
Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.
Yo mama's so dumb, she waited until the stop sign turned blue.
Yo mama's so fat, when she got pregnant, she fell to the earth's core.
Every zodiac sign has a different hairstyle except Cancer.
People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.
The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."
Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
What zodiac sign has no hair?
Cancer.